Yesterday I was watching B "dive" off the stairs into her "pool" and I was overcome
with thankfulness. Just a few months ago I was questioning whether or not she would have the ability to run and jump and play like other kids. I was asking God for answers and begging him to heal her.
Yesterday He took me back - back to the moments of sobbing, questioning, fear, and yes even anger. I remembered the pain that was constantly squeezing my heart as I carried my baby around. I also remembered the moment when I let go and let God carry us - when I decided to "let go of things that we not mine to hold and things too heavy for me to carry" . I remember the peace that filled my heart and mind, and the way I was comforted. Today I am just remembering.. and I am thankful.
God did not leave us or forsake us in our pain
He held us and comforted us - he strengthened us in our weakness
and He replaced our fear with faith. Just like He promised in His word.
B. still has arthritis, and God may never heal her completely
but he HAS healed.
He has healed me of unbelief, of fear and doubt.
And so I praise Him and with renewed hope I will trust Him more...
"It is God who is at work in you both to will and to work for his good pleasure" (phil 2:13)