Struggle as gift

 struggle - daily, moment by moment.
That is the theme of my week. Just being honest.
At night I lay in bed just grateful to have made it through another day - whispering pleas to the one who carried me to please do it again tomorrow.  Sleep comes quickly - so does morning.. too quickly.. I am seeing numbers on the clock I was hoping not to see for a few more months.  Husbands work hours have stretched long, attitudes of children remind me of my call to train and make me weep with the uncertainty. Are they getting it at all? Body and mind weary late in pregnancy. 
Calender demanding that I keep going, life demanding that I keep going. 
I hate the struggle - but it is good for me to find refuge in God. He is always there
He does not forget that I am made from dust, and so He is not surprise at my tendency to return there.
How loving and patient He is, how gentle He is to those who call out to Him in need. 
He is a Rock - a steady and unmoving place. 
He is a sure shelter when Life beats Hot or when storms threaten to destroy.
And anything that causes my eyes to turn away from Me is mercy and kindness.


I haven't been able to get away from this song -
 and it's relevance and truth.

And I keep writing them down -
I write them through Hot tears, but they are still gifts.
204- house to be fixed
205- Prayers answered with "No"
206- Lessons in waiting
207- An easier bedtime
208- My own neediness
227- Calm after the storm
228- tears of release
229- victory in thanksgiving
238- My exchange of sin for clean
243- a new dawn
244- a husbands means of providing
246- God sees me
247- God hears me
248- God knows me
249- God values me
253- Jesus loves me - He is my friend
254- Hot tears
255- Knees bent in dependence
256- Found Grace


Anonymous said...

we all have days like that, I wish I was as quick to lean on Him in the struggles as you! love ya!


Laurie said...

My dear niece,
Thank you for sharing this. I felt like I was reading a Psalm of struggles and praise to our Lord who hears and understands the groaning of our heart. You are a very special woman. Here is a big hug. I love you! Aunt Laurie

Melanie said...

Beautiful reminder for my heart and I love that song! So true...

I have some free Easter / "He Is Risen" blog buttons if you would like one to display on your blog during Holy Week! They are on my blog and free to anyone who would like one. :-)

Celebrating His resurrection,

Craig said...

I’m here from Ann’s

I so know of struggle. I know the emotions. I know what God can do through it – but we still have to get to the other side. I just prayed for you – don’t know the details – but for you – the baby – the challenges – your marriage – we don’t know each other but we are brother and sister in Our Lord. Thank you for the chance to pray.

And when I read through the lists I like to think about it a little and pick a favorite – my favorite from yours was: I actually wanted to pick 208 all the way to the end – settled on this one 254- Hot tears – just because I know how good they can be. {smiling}

I really liked reading this today. God Bless and keep you and all of yours